The Other Side of the Coin
by pandorabox82
Summary: Ange finds herself trying to understand Carole's point of view, but is she ready to hear what Carole has to say about Dom?


At first, Ange had been perfectly willing to smirk along with her new found son, to mock Carole and all the cringey things that fell from her lips. It was clear that the woman had no clue that that was what she was doing, looking to her for support and guidance, as if she viewed Ange as some sort of conspirator, someone who would instinctively take her side, since they shared one very important thing – a son. That was the farthest thing from the truth, though, since Ange felt like Carole had stolen something from her, and that was the first meeting with her son.

And then, Dom had just verbally lit into her, and Ange had watched something inside her crumble, though she kept up a brave face as she nodded. Carole turned from them, making her way over to the lifts and pressing the button, glancing over at them one last time before she stepped into it. She thought that she detected a glimmer of tears on her cheeks, and a rush of guilt flooded through Ange's body, making her cheeks flush a hot red as her own tears welled up in sympathy. "Don't like Carole's crocodile tears get to you. She just wants people to feel sorry for her."

She swallowed thickly as she shook her head. "That is your mother you're speaking of, Dom."

He gave her a withering look as he pushed away from the desk and got to his feet. "I have no mother," he spat out before storming off. Ange swiped at her eyes, clearing them of tears as she also got to her feet and took a deep breath. She knew that she had a choice in that moment – follow after Dom or follow after Carole. Realizing that Dom was most likely a lost cause at that moment, she jogged over to the stairwell and went down them as quickly as she could, betting that she could beat the lift to the ground floor. She arrived just as the lift doors were opening up, and she watched Carole step out and make a beeline for the doors. It was in that moment that Ange realized she had forgotten her coat, but knew that it was more important to connect with Carole. Somehow, she felt that her future at Holby depended upon it.

"Carole, wait up!" she called out as she ran into the car park. The older woman stiffened in place, not turning around to look at her. Still, it gave Ange the opening she needed, and she crossed the short distance between them handily, touching her arm softly, wanting the woman to turn and look at her. "Do you have a moment to talk?"

"Why would you want to talk to me? You've made it abundantly clear that I'm not in the same class as you and Dazzle. I'm taking the job, and you both can just deal with it." There was a slight bitterness to Carole's voice, but the one thing that Ange could focus on in that moment was how large her eyes looked in the rapidly darkening evening. The first tears started to roll down Carole's face, and she pulled away from Ange so that she could swipe at her face unashamedly.

"How is it that you're the one with a openly bleeding wound, when you're the one who kept the truth from Dominic all these years?"

"He is my miracle. You were your name that day, giving me the one thing I so desperately wanted. I thought that I would never have a child of my own. You have no idea what it's like to have your body betray you so many times…" Carole's voice trailed off as she looked down at the ground, her tears falling faster and faster until it seemed like she was hyperventilating. "I tried, so many times, and failed."

Ange had no idea if Carole was talking about Dom or the miscarriages she had suffered, but either way, she felt her heart suddenly lurch and break for the disconsolate woman in front of her. Slipping her arm around Carole's waist, she led the openly sobbing woman back to the benches by the building, helping her to sit before Carole almost snuggled into her, still sobbing. They say there silently for a few minutes, and Ange tried to find the right words to say that wouldn't hurt Carole more deeply. "I didn't know," she finally said lowly, reaching her hand up to pat Carole's head lightly, trying to offer her comfort. This appeared to be another difference between them – Carole was all full of endearments and soft touches, where she was more introverted, making people earn affection from her.

"Only Barry knows. I learned quite quickly after the first failure to keep it to myself. No one wants to hear about sadness when it comes to pregnancy. They just want the happy side of the coin." Carole curled her fingers into Ange's suit coat, twisting the fabric around in an effort to self-soothe. "And now my greatest joy wants nothing to do with me, and it hurts. We sacrificed so much for Dazzle's career, but it was worth it, because he was making a better life for himself."

Ange was quickly coming to understand the sacrifices that Carole and Barry had made for Dom, and what her pressure had cost Carole in that moment. There was no excuse for their behavior, any of them, but she could have been much more circumspect with this secret. Because now Dom was lashing out at everyone, and she knew that it was only a matter of time until that attitude bled over to the patients, and then she would have to reprimand him, and that could result in Hanssen stepping in once more, and she didn't want that. "He's a very good doctor, and he has your open heart."

"You think so? Truly?"

Ange's heart spasmed to heart the yearning for acceptance in Carole's voice, and she nodded as she patted Carole's shoulder. "I do. Now, what do you say to getting a drink before you head home? I don't think that you should leave in this state, truly."

"All right."

She had no idea if the woman was just agreeing to agree, but she still decided that the opening was enough to set her heart right with regards to how she had treated Carole thus far. Getting to her feet, Ange held out her hand expectantly, and it took a few moments before she reached out and pulled herself to her feet before seeming to fold in on herself. This was far from the woman Dominic had tried to paint her as, since the happy go lucky attitude was nowhere to be found. She wondered, in that moment, if this was Carole's true self, the one she hid away from the world, since she had been trained to please people and present a happy exterior to everyone she met. "Have you ever been to Albie's?"

"No, but Lofty told me that it's a lovely place."

"It is. I'll get our first round." Carole nodded as they slowly made their way over to the bar. It didn't surprise Ange that Carole drifted off to a corner table, since she seemed to need to be removed from others in that moment, though she did frown to see that Chloe and Cameron were seated at another secluded table, giggling and talking. That had the potential to blow up in her face, since she knew that Chloe didn't know about Dom, and Ange sighed as she ordered Carole a white wine and herself a gin and tonic. Once she had the drinks in hand, she scurried over to the table Carole had secured for them, taking a seat across from her before knocking back a good portion of her drink.

"How did you know that I like white wine?" Carole asked as she sipped from her glass.

"I just had a feeling," she replied as she rested her elbow on the table and let her chin fall upon it, staring at a spot just over her shoulder as she tried to gather her thoughts. "So, what was Dom like when he was small? Did you always know that he was different?"

"I think that I did, yes," Carole said carefully. "But that didn't matter to me, not like it mattered to Barry. He wanted to have grandchildren, you see, and he thought that with Dom liking men, he would never get that. I tried to tell him that…"

Her voice trailed off, but Ange knew exactly what her next words would be, and why she had kept them inside. A sharp stab of pain struck her heart and she looked up into Carole's face, seeing that she was close to tears once more, and she fumbled with the wine glass in front of her, bringing it to her lips and draining it dry. Ange caught the eye of the bartender and gestured for another round before polishing off the rest of her gin. "I doubt he's going to want to adopt now, not after this little fiasco. Though we did rather spring this all on him, he might have had a different reaction had I not pushed you into something a little more dramatic."

Carole nodded as the bartender dropped off another round, taking the empty glasses with him as he left. It was another few moments before she spoke again, staring into her wine. "Dazzle always knew how to be dramatic, so it makes sense that the way he found out the truth would be dramatic. He was my little boy…" She started to cry again and brought her glass to her lips, and drinking it straight down before getting to her feet and heading up to the bar.

Ange watched her talk to the bartender, handing over an unknown amount of money before coming back to the table with a tray of shots, two more glasses of wine, and another gin and tonic. "We're going to be drunk if we drink all that," she started to protest, only for Carole to give her a piercing look.

"Who said that any of this was for you, beyond the gin and tonic?" It shocked her to hear a slightly caustic tone in Carole's voice, because up until that moment, she had been either bubbly and perky, or desperately sad. Carole brushed past her, and Ange reached out for her arm to steady her as she went to take a seat. "I'll be comfortably numb by the end of the night, God willing."

And then she smiled at Ange, that sunny look so incongruous with her tone that she blinked rapidly, downing the gin and tonic in her hand before switching to the one Carole had brought her. She could feel her inhibitions loosening a little as the alcohol hit her system, and she leaned back a little to watch Carole down two of the shots in quick succession before handing two over to her. "I thought you weren't sharing?"

"I'm being generous."

Ange nodded and quickly drank down the shots, grimacing a little at the taste. "What were those?"

"Jaggermeister. It burns like a bitch, doesn't it?"

She nodded, feeling her brow furrow together in confusion at how perky Carole had sounded saying that, as if she was glad that Ange hadn't liked the alcohol. "That it does. Now, is there anything else that I should know about Dom as we navigate the road ahead?"

There was a little pause before Carole shook her head. "No, I think that you'll be just fine figuring out my Dazzle's little quirks all on your own. After all, now that you're his mother, that right belongs to you." There was a caustic tone in Carole's voice, and Ange wondered if she had pushed the woman too far. "So, look after him, and let him know that he's loved, and when he finally implodes and realizes that hitting the reset button on his life can only take him so far, and you find that don't want to clean up his mess, let him know that I'll be there to help glue him back together. Just like I have done every other time."

She drained the rest of her wine glass before fixing a sad, hard, look on Ange. And in that moment, she saw the other side of the coin to being Dom's mother, and a part of her wondered what she had gotten herself into by springing this news on Dom and Carole so quickly. But there was no putting the genie back in the bottle, and they had to move on from here, no matter how hurt they would be in the unknown future to come.


End file.
